Hang in there - it's early days yet and the bottom line is that the learning curve is steep for what we want to achieve. You're on the right track with good gear and video tutorials, now all you need is a bit of a reality check and attitude adjustment.
For what it's worth, I've felt many times what you described in the top post. Heck, the first three or four months of my flying were spent just flying around in random directions like a total dickhead. Axels didn't happen until about the six or seven month mark, and it took me about eight months to hit a fade. After that, I spent quite a bit of time at the field feeling annoyed, outright angry with myself, or just disappointed at the end of the day.
The problem, I think, applies to of a lot of creative pursuits that rely on motor skills and muscle memory (e.g. playing guitar) - it
seems to make perfect sense when you're an observer (you pull this string at that time and get a nice trick result) and it looks
easy when the demonstrator has everything dialled in. So in your mind, you think "Yeah, that makes sense and seems do-able, I'll head out and get that working". Of course, what we've overlooked is all the nuance in timing, feel, and strength, and all of the hours spent getting those things right.
So, my advice is to bring your expectations back to more realistic measures and don't beat yourself up when things aren't working. It's not your personal failing - this stuff is hard for almost everyone. Don't worry about "freestyle" so much for now. Keep that stuff for later and concentrate on getting individual tricks going because these will form the basis for freestyle combinations later on. I'd recommend you put the lazy susan aside for awhile and have a shot at axeling instead. It'll be a great feeling when you get the first one, and the ones straight after. One thing that's been reinforced with me time and time again is that getting the first one is always the hardest part - after that, things seem to fall into place more rapidly.
Hope this helps, keep at it.
A.